Breaking Through Barriers: What’s REALLY Stopping you?
I'm a firm believer that people inherently know what they need to do, even though many seem to struggle in taking those crucial steps toward their desires.
Consider the common aspirations we all share at some point in our lives – money, love, or better health. If you were to search for guidance on these topics, you'd find thousands of plans, spanning different lifestyles, ages, geographical locations, genders, sexual orientations, and more. The information is readily accessible, so why do people still find themselves yearning for these things?
Often, we attribute the seemingly never ending search to external factors - not knowing what to do, blaming others, lacking time, or money, and the list goes on. I'm not dismissing the validity of these external challenges, but I firmly believe the true obstacle lies within us – it's not something on the outside at all, but we’d call an "inner block."
So, what exactly is an inner block?
Let's delve into this by using an example. Imagine you have a friend, a 45-year-old woman, who dreams of opening a personal training business. If she lacks the necessary license, this is clearly an "outer block." She can't simply open her business and start training without the required license. But if she does have her NASM license, a new set of challenges arises – these are what we’d refer to as "inner blocks." These inner blocks, as taught by iPEC, come in various forms and often operate in the background.
Limiting Beliefs:
This is the inner block we often hear about, yet it has the least amount of “pull” or influence on us. It involves holding limiting beliefs about the world, beliefs that constrain us. A classic example is the belief that "women can't be president." Just because there hasn't been a female president yet doesn't mean there can't be one. Applying this to our personal trainer friend, a limiting belief might be, "People in my town don't hire personal trainers over 30," a belief she's accepted as truth, limiting her from taking action in establishing her business.
Interpretations:
Interpretations are stories we craft about situations, often without concrete evidence. Our minds are skilled storytellers, and these interpretations can significantly impact our actions. An interpretation might be someone going on a job interview, not getting a call back, and telling themselves it’s because there’s a gap on their resume, even if they didn’t get feedback from the hiring manager. For our personal trainer friend, if she puts herself out there, doesn't attract clients, and concludes, "They’re not hiring me because I don’t have a 6 - pack," she's allowing an interpretation to hold her back. Our friend made up a story – an interpretation – and it is stopping her from moving forward.
Assumptions:
These go a level deeper, and have much more pull on us then the first two. Assumptions arise from past experiences where things didn't go as planned, leading us to assume that history will repeat itself. For instance, if someone attempted to discuss conflict styles with their partner and was declined every time in the past, the assumption might be, "We can never have that conversation, so why bother trying?" As for our personal trainer friend, if she previously started a business that failed, she might assume that history will repeat itself, hindering her from trying again. With both instances, we are seeing the chokehold of an assumption. It may even feel natural to assume the past will repeat in the future.
Gremlins:
Lastly, we have gremlins, and I'm not referring to the 80s movie. I believe all humans share a common fear – that they might not be enough. This fear often comes with qualifiers – not smart enough, not skinny enough, not pretty enough, not liked enough, and so on. Gremlins tend to emerge when we step out of our comfort zones, making us question ourselves and potentially stalling our progress. Imposter syndrome is just another name for a specific gremlin. When someone thinks, "I'm not smart enough," they're dealing with a gremlin. If our personal trainer friend believes, "I'm not good enough to start this business," it's her gremlin at play.
Now that you understand these inner blocks, what's next?
In my coaching sessions, I actively listen for these blocks because they often operate without our awareness. I frequently ask clients, "How true is that?" when it sounds like a limiting belief is at play.
I recall a client with many interpretations who laughed one day, saying, "You always say, 'Maybe…' whenever I tell you what I think my husband is thinking." I can quickly identify when clients are stuck because they fear history will repeat itself, and let's face it, who wouldn't be concerned in such a situation? Lastly, some clients become so comfortable with their gremlins that we've given them names, and they've even messaged me saying, "My gremlin showed up during the board meeting, but I stayed focused on my messaging and didn't get derailed."
If you've been reading this and starting to identify your own inner blocks, coaching is an excellent option. Reach out to schedule a call. Coaching can make a significant difference as you move closer to your goals, or just simply want to have more peace of mind in your life. Moving past these inner blocks can allow for more ease in doing so.
With joy,