“The Complexities of True Change”
As someone who is passionate about self-development, I am in a world where messages of change and development are everywhere.
At nearly a decade of being a life coach, I’ve seen all the messaging. And there is one thing that truly bothers me – the utter simplicity that is sold. At best, it’s misleading. At its worst, it’s a lie and can shut someone down.
I’ve been known to say to new clients that everything is google-able. Yet, so many people don’t have what they want. As a coach who has supported 100s of clients, I can tell you people not having what they want is not because they don’t know what to do.
It’s because change is complex. I am hesitant to say it’s hard, because a whole lot of conceptions and connections of hard and not possible seem to go together.
Change requires commitment and a level of self-awareness. And a whole lot of NOT judging yourself. That’s not easy, especially in a world that’s always demanding more and the best.
At our core, we are doing the best we can. AND we have a lot of auto-pilot tendencies that support us in feeling safe.
(Note – I didn’t say keep us safe. Emphasis on the feel.)
And these behaviors have been with you for years, and more than likely, for decades.
Take for example the person who felt like an outcast in school.
They’re going to naturally feel hardwired to want to fit in and feel accepted as an adult. This same person may possess an artistic talent or a business skill that can be monetized. But putting themselves out there feels overwhelming and anxiety ridden.
For this person, it’s not about promoting themselves. It’s not about networking. It’s not even really about believing in themselves.
It’s about believing they are safe to put themselves out there.
I support folks like the above example all the time. Which is why I know change is so complex. It’s so easy to dismiss ourselves and over simplify something.
The fear is real, folks, even if the story we tell ourselves that produces the fear is false.
I invite you to think about your own life. What is something you really want? What is stopping you from getting that desire? And in what ways might it not be about the logistical components, but more about fears or not feeling worthy of the desire?
How have you been judging yourself while you made it about action, when it was really about shifting the auto pilot of your life?
And what might be possible if you remind yourself that those kinds of shifts are complex, AND it’s normal you’ve been in self-protective mode?
If you’re curious to learn more about how coaching can support you look at what’s happening under the surface, set up an exploratory call with me today https://sarahwahiba.as.me/MeetAndGreet
Cheering you on,