The Truth About Conflict: Insights for a Fulfilling Life
Conflict isn't something many people are comfortable with, and often, it stirs up a myriad of emotions. Different individuals might define conflict in various ways.
For some, it's delivering bad news. For others, it's simply a difference of opinion. Then there are those who'd feel a sense of conflict even when politely addressing an error in their restaurant order. They are all correct because it's a matter of personal perception.
The underlying truth is that conflict can trigger a range of emotions, often stemming from our experiences in our formative years. If someone has an aversion to conflict, one of two scenarios is likely true:
1.) They grew up in a household where conflicts were frequent but seldom resolved.
Such an upbringing can leave individuals feeling overwhelmed by conflict, always dreading the potential chaos it might bring. Consequently, they've learned to avoid it as a means of preserving their emotional well-being.
2.) They grew up in a household where conflict was rare, and they never acquired conflict resolution skills.
In such environments, individuals may have never learned the healthy art of addressing disagreements. Any hint of discord may be perceived as a threat to their relationships, prompting them to shy
away from it.
And then there are those who simply "speak their mind." However, in my opinion, that might not be the best approach to conflict either.
Regardless of how you feel about conflict or your approach to it, it's essential to understand that your feelings are a result of the meaning you've assigned to it. This meaning may not necessarily reflect reality. I don't mean to diminish your discomfort; that feeling is undoubtedly real. It's the thoughts you're thinking about conflict that may not be true.
In essence, it's not about the conflict itself. It's about the fear of what may happen afterward.
For many, this fear revolves around disappointing others, leading to conflict avoidance. Addressing conflicts can be perceived as risking disappointment or rejection, which often leads individuals to prioritize others' needs over their own.
Alternatively, it might be the anxiety of losing connections. Conflict can feel like a threat to relationships, driving people to avoid it in an attempt to preserve those connections.
But remember, it's not about the conflict; it's about what you think will transpire after the conflict.
This is where seeking support, such as a qualified life coach, can be a valuable resource. I've worked with numerous clients on this very issue, particularly those who struggle with people-pleasing tendencies. Together, we've addressed conflict avoidance in their professional lives, relationships, and even their internal dialogues.
Here are some valuable tips to consider, when engaging in conversations that may feel like conflict is inevitable :
1. Assume Positive Intent:
Recognize that conflict doesn't always imply harm or ill will. Sometimes, it's a necessary step toward growth and understanding.
2. Be Direct and Honest:
Communicate your thoughts and feelings clearly and honestly. Avoidance often leads to misunderstandings.
3. Be Kind:
Approach conflict with empathy and kindness. Remember that both parties involved are human, and the goal is to find a resolution, not escalate the situation.
Further, If you find that your fear of conflict is hindering your progress or causing undue stress, consider seeking support from a life coach.
Embracing conflict as an opportunity for growth and self-discovery is a powerful step toward personal development. By challenging the meaning you've attached to conflict, you can cultivate a more harmonious and fulfilling life.
If you'd like to explore this topic further or seek guidance on your personal journey, feel free to reach out for a consult call.
With joy,