The Quiet Pullback and the Loud Pushback: What Stress Reactions Teach Us (From Workplaces to Taylor Swift Fans)
What could Quiet Quitting, Quiet Cracking, and Taylor Swift’s The Life of a Showgirl album possibly have in common?
At first glance, not much. One is about workplace culture, the other is about pop culture.
But look closer, and you’ll see they reveal something deeper: how humans react under stress.
When pressure builds, most of us slip into one of two modes - the quiet pullback or the loud pushback. We don’t always notice it happening, and it’s not about being good or bad. These reactions are simply patterns. But they shape how we show up - at work, at home, and even online.
This is part one of a series where I’ll explore how these stress defaults show up, and what they can teach us.
The Quiet Pullback: When Stress Makes Us Step Back
You’ve probably heard about Quiet Quitting or the newer term Quiet Cracking. Both capture a rising trend: people staying in their jobs, but disengaging. They do what’s required and nothing more. They stop pushing for growth. In some cases, they feel so worn down that they mentally check out.
That’s the quiet pullback - a stress response where energy turns inward. It sounds like:
“Why bother?”
“It doesn’t matter anyway.”
“I’ll just stay quiet.”
You can see it in workplaces: employees tuning out during meetings, resisting new initiatives, or simply doing the bare minimum to survive. You can see it at home: someone going silent during a disagreement, not because they don’t care, but because engaging feels too heavy.
Even in cultural conversations, you’ll see the pullback. Instead of joining the debate, people say, “It’s not worth it. I’ll just ignore it.”
This isn’t laziness - it’s protection. When stress feels overwhelming, our brains think safety comes from disappearing.
👉 If this sounds familiar, take my Stress Response Quiz, to discover “pulling back” is your default under pressure.
The Loud Pushback: When Stress Turns Into Defensiveness
On the other end of the spectrum is the loud pushback - a stress response that comes out as judgment, defensiveness, or outright attack.
It shows up at work in phrases like:
“If you cared about the team, you’d agree with me.”
“If you really wanted this project to succeed, you’d do it my way.”
At home:
“If you loved me, you wouldn’t need to ask.”
“If you understood me, you’d already know.”
And in culture? Look no further than the discourse around Taylor Swift’s The Life of a Showgirl.
For some, the album is a masterpiece. For others, it’s a disappointment. But the real story isn’t the album itself - it’s how people are reacting to each other.
“You must not want her to be happy.”
“She dumbed it down for Travis.”
“It’s insane that you like this album.”
What could have been a conversation becomes an attack. The goal shifts from understanding to defending.
This is pushback energy at work - the moment stress flips us into right vs. wrong, us vs. them.
👉 Recognize this in yourself? Take the quiz to see if “pushback” is your stress default.
Why It Matters
These patterns - the pullback and the pushback - are universal. They’re human. And they show up far more often than people realize.
In my coaching work, I’ve guided hundreds of clients through the Energy Leadership Index (ELI) assessment. What I see again and again is that when people are under stress, more than half of their energy goes into these two modes. They either withdraw or they defend.
It doesn’t mean something is wrong with you. It means your brain is protecting you. But when you start to notice the pattern, you also start to see the cost: missed connection, stalled creativity, strained relationships, and workplace tension.
And awareness is powerful. Once you see the pattern, you can start to shift it.
👉 Curious where you land? Start with the quiz.
👉 Want a deeper picture? Learn more about the Energy Leadership Index.
👉 Explore how I use these patterns in my coaching approach here.
Final Reflection
We all go there - sometimes we retreat, sometimes we fight. The pullback and the pushback are two sides of the same coin: stress looking for safety.
This series is about shining a light on these reactions, not to judge them, but to understand them. Because when you see your own stress patterns clearly, you create space for something else: curiosity, collaboration, even growth.
And that’s where we’re headed in the next post.
For now: which one feels most familiar to you - the quiet pullback, or the loud pushback?
