What If the Way You Lead Is What’s Burning You Out?
Most leaders don’t burn out because they’re doing it wrong.
They burn out because they’ve spent years doing what used to work, and no one told them how to tell when it stopped.
If you’ve ever felt like your work drains you more than it should, or you can’t quite figure out why your team feels disconnected no matter how hard you try, you’re not alone.
In fact, this is one of the most common threads I see in my coaching work:
Leaders who are smart, capable, and deeply committed, but quietly running on fumes.
Why Work Feels Heavier Than It Used To
You’ve done everything you were taught.
You show up.
You get results.
You carry a lot…usually without asking for help.
But something has shifted.
What used to motivate you now just feels like pressure.
What used to energize you now leaves you wiped.
And your team? They’re getting the job done… but it doesn’t feel like you’re really leading them.
Here’s what most people miss:
When the workplace changes, leadership needs to change too.
Not in a complete-overhaul kind of way.
But in a stop-doing-what’s-burning-you-out kind of way.
Your Leadership Style Might Be a Survival Strategy
We often talk about leadership style like it’s fixed.
“I’m direct.”
“I’m the one who keeps things moving.”
“I’m always the person people count on.”
But often, your “style” isn’t personality, it’s protection.
It’s the version of you that worked in high-pressure environments.
That got rewarded for over-functioning.
That helped you survive a toxic team, a difficult boss, or impossible expectations.
That doesn’t make it wrong.
But it does mean it might be costing you more than you realize.
When you lead from default - just doing what you’ve always done - you can’t see the toll it’s taking until it’s already built up.
You might find yourself controlling more, fixing more, or striving for impossible standards just to feel safe.
Three Leadership Patterns That Lead to Burnout
In my work, I see a few quiet but common patterns:
The Fixer: Always saying yes. Absorbing everyone else’s stress. Leading with care but forgetting you matter too.
The Enforcer: Holding it all together. Getting results. But struggling to connect—and not sure how to lead without control.
The Perfectionist: Doing everything right, and still wondering why it never feels done. Delegation feels risky. So you carry too much, too often.
Each of these styles comes from a good place.
But they all lead to the same outcome: exhaustion, resentment, and disconnection - from yourself and your team.
The Problem Isn’t You. The Problem Is the Pattern.
Most leaders don’t even realize how much they’re leading from habit.
The habits are familiar. They feel productive.
But they’re also what keep you stuck.
Here’s the truth:
You can’t change what you can’t imagine.
And most people skip the imagination step entirely.
They jump straight into doing - new systems, new tactics, new productivity hacks.
But none of it works if you’re still operating from an old identity.
What shifts everything?
Giving yourself permission to lead in a way that actually feels like you.
Not the version of you that gets the job done at any cost, but the version that feels calm, connected, and clear about what matters.
You Don’t Need to Lead Differently Alone
This is the heart of the coaching work I do.
I help leaders notice the patterns that are silently draining them,
Understand why those patterns were needed in the first place,
And make intentional shifts that allow them to lead with more energy, more clarity, and more ease.
This isn’t about throwing everything out.
It’s about coming back to yourself, and creating a version of leadership that actually feels sustainable.
If something here resonates, I’d love to connect.
Whether you’re ready for 1:1 support or want to start by joining my newsletter, you’re welcome here.
Because the truth is - you don’t need to lead differently alone.
You just need space to explore what’s next.